God loves everyone equally, unless they have damaged testicles.

The Lord said to Moses, "Say to Aaron: 'For the generations to come none of your descendants who has a defect may come near to offer the food of his God. No man who has any defect may come near: no man who is blind or lame, disfigured or deformed; no man with a crippled foot or hand, or who is a hunchback or a dwarf, or who has any eye defect, or who has festering or running sores or damaged testicles. No descendant of Aaron the priest who has any defect is to come near to present the food offerings to the Lord. He has a defect; he must not come near to offer the food of his God. He may eat the most holy food of his God, as well as the holy food; yet because of his defect, he must not go near the curtain or approach the altar, and so desecrate my sanctuary. I am the Lord, who makes them holy.'" Leviticus 21: 17-23

Some people might take these sacred, holy words to be preposterous; but let's face it, they make perfect sense. Just image a group surrounding the altar consisting of dwarfs, hunchbacks, blind guys bumping into each other, guys with swollen balls, guys with clubbed feet, guys with festering sores, guys with damaged retinas (????); the altar would resemble the bar scene in Star Wars. God has a sense of style after all; he's got his standards. Perhaps it best that we trust God on this one.

Sorry Lance, you only have one nut. Get the hell away from the altar.