Little white lie = burn in hell. Crap.

But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars—they will be consigned to the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death. Revelation 21:8

This guy should be OK.

That's right baby! Never told a lie.

Hot! Hot! Hot!

Anyone whose name was not found written in the book of life was thrown into the lake of fire. Revelation 20:15

Of course. Who in their right mind would jump in voluntarily? Sounds dreadful. We recommend sunblock 5,000,000,000,000,000,000 for those not listed in the good book.

When Satan gets out on parole he'll go right back to a life of crime. Bank on it.

When the thousand years are over, Satan will be released from his prison and will go out to deceive the nations in the four corners of the earth—Gog and Magog—and to gather them for battle. Revelation 20:7

Quick, ready the bat signal.

Be ready, Batman. Satan is almost as mean as the Penguin.

God serves man seven bowls of excrement. But He loves you.

NOTE: These verses read much better on acid or mushrooms.   
     The first angel went and poured out his bowl on the land, and ugly, festering sores broke out on the people who had the mark of the beast and worshiped its image. Revelation 16:2

     The second angel poured out his bowl on the sea, and it turned into blood like that of a dead person, and every living thing in the sea died. Revelation 16:3

     The fourth angel poured out his bowl on the sun, and the sun was allowed to scorch people with fire. They were seared by the intense heat and they cursed the name of God, who had control over these plagues, but they refused to repent and glorify him. Revelation 16: 8-9

     The fifth angel poured out his bowl on the throne of the beast, and its kingdom was plunged into darkness. People gnawed their tongues in agony and cursed the God of heaven because of their pains and their sores, but they refused to repent of what they had done. Revelation 16: 10-11

     The sixth angel poured out his bowl on the great river Euphrates, and its water was dried up to prepare the way for the kings from the East. Then I saw three impure spirits that looked like frogs; they came out of the mouth of the dragon, out of the mouth of the beast and out of the mouth of the false prophet. Revelation 16:12-13 

     The seventh angel poured out his bowl into the air, and out of the temple came a loud voice from the throne, saying, "It is done!" Then there came flashes of lightning, rumblings, peals of thunder and a severe earthquake. Revelation 16: 17-18 Every island fled away and the mountains could not be found. From the sky huge hailstones, each weighing about a hundred pounds, fell on people. And they cursed God on account of the plague of hail, because the plague was so terrible. Revelation 16: 20-21

If you've made it through this inspirational list and still need proof of God's love for mankind, we may not be able to help you.

THE END IS NEAR!!!

The revelation from Jesus Christ, which God gave him to show his servants what must soon take place. He made it known by sending his angel to his servant John, who testifies to everything he saw—that is, the word of God and the testimony of Jesus Christ. Blessed is the one who reads aloud the words of this prophecy, and blessed are those who hear it and take to heart what is written in it, because the time is near. Revelation 1: 1-3

Well, let's remember that "near" is a relative term. Perhaps Revelation's author(s?) measures nearness in terms of thousands of years.

We have nothing to fear with Bruce and Ben on the job.

General review of the Book of Revelation.

Revelation is a virtually unreadable, disjointed product of what one can only assume to be the work of a highly creative man (or men) that was clearly under the influence of the popular hallucinogenic of the day. Think, Tim Burton, on acid with a religious axe to grind. Due to the fact the the entire collection could easily be included in this blog, and the crazy would painfully redundant, just a few select passage are being plucked from Revelation as examples. Let us know if you have a favorite that we ignored.